(This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father.)
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
Here, hold John ny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard> on my fingers.
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off.
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster.
It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out.
With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard 'Poupon.''
When you stop laughing, Leave a comment on any funny baby story .
5 comments:
I don't have a funny baby story right now, but had to comment anyway!
That one will have me chuckling all day.
Loved this one! I have a funny baby story, but it's not mine. Read it somewhere. Here goes:
A Mother left her husband home with their 18 month old daughter while she ran to the store. The husband was watching television in the family room when their daughter came running in with a tiny tea cup full of water. "Drink Daddy!" she said in her 18 month old voice.
The Father was ecstatic as he drank up. This game went on for some time.
Finally the Mother arrived home and the Father quickly told her what had happened.
"Oh you have to see this!" he said as he pulled her over to the couch.
He prompted their daughter to do it again, at which point she quickly came running with a tiny teacup full of water.
"Isn't that great?" he asked.
"Um. Did it ever occur to you WHERE she got that water?" the Mother asked as they quickly followed the daughter on her trip for more.....right to the bathroom toilet!
This is funny. At my house my husband loves to test out what kind of culinary concoction our two older children 6 and 8 will try. His very first mealtime medley was poking a hole in the middle of a brownie and filling it with pickle juice. YIKES. Guess what..they loved it. Our kids are so eager and willing to try new combinations of things that he gives them "almost" free reign on their choices. The only condition is that they it has to be something we already have at home. So, what's for lunch today?? Hotdogs with raspberries, chocolate sauce, relish, ketchup and oh yes...spicy mustard. Toodles!
I too don't have a funny baby story but this was to funny.
Come on over...I have a surprise for you and no, it is not that I posted 23 times since you went to bed last night like I know you were thinking!
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